Adding some Touches to the Backyard!

My husband.....he's a hard worker. Yes he is. I just wanted to add some plants and mulch around our deck and he decided to add some stone too. This is more involved than we've realized! You have to dig down 8", then lay sand, pack it all down to maintain the level ground, lay the stone, then he has to mortar the top pieces on also. For such a small section it turned into a lot of money and a lot of hard earned sweat!!! I've taken a few photos, but it's still not complete. Oh OK, I did paint two sides of the shed while he was doing this by the way (gotta get my kudos also!!!)!!!! P.S. It was a beautiful Saturday!! It was 84 F and a lovely breeze....I got a slight burn but wow! Sunday..the Day for mulch and mortar was overcast and cool 69 F. Go figure???

Jeff in the beginning....

He's Planted the Nadinas!!

The mulch has been added now we need to add the rest of the mortar...and get a nice hose holder!!!! This is a rose bush (pink roses) and a jasmine vine...lovely actually with yellow blooms in the spring and fall. On the other side where you see the lattice panel we planted a star jasmine that blooms white in the spring only...but I'm still waiting on those blooms!!!

Helping Daddy Dig

Today is much cooler than yesterday. We reach 82F yesterday and today it's only 63-65F. Not that it's bad, but cooler. But a good day to plant a big tree we purchased. And Jeff had to dig a couple more inches out of his hole and the little worker monsters decided they wanted to help!!

Here is Garrett!

Here is Justin!

And here are all the Guys!!

Garrett - Asperger's and ADHD

"Individuals with AS can exhibit a variety of characteristics and the disorder can range from mild to severe. Persons with AS show marked deficiencies in social skills, have difficulties with transitions or changes and prefer sameness. They often have obsessive routines and may be preoccupied with a particular subject of interest. They have a great deal of difficulty reading nonverbal cues (body language) and very often the individual with AS has difficulty determining proper body space. Often overly sensitive to sounds, tastes, smells, and sights, the person with AS may prefer soft clothing, certain foods, and be bothered by sounds or lights no one else seems to hear or see. It's important to remember that the person with AS perceives the world very differently. Therefore, many behaviors that seem odd or unusual are due to those neurological differences and not the result of intentional rudeness or bad behavior, and most certainly not the result of "improper parenting.

By definition, those with AS have a normal IQ and many individuals (although not all), exhibit exceptional skill or talent in a specific area. Because of their high degree of functionality and their naiveté, those with AS are often viewed as eccentric or odd and can easily become victims of teasing and bullying. While language development seems, on the surface, normal, individuals with AS often have deficits in pragmatics and prosody. Vocabularies may be extraordinarily rich and some children sound like "little professors." However, persons with AS can be extremely literal and have difficulty using language in a social context".

We have know for a long time that Garrett marched to his own little drum. But when he started preschool in Florida at 4 they had us take him to 'child-find' to have him evaluated. It showed up that something wasn't right. He ended up that he was delayed cognitively. We ended up taking him to see some Dr's and there it was determined that he more than likely had Asperger's on top of ADD or ADHD. He met many of the signs, but being 4 he was still a bit young for them to determine things yet.

We then moved to Pennsylvania and they do not have the services for special needs children like they did in Florida but we did get him into a four day (half days) program, but it was geared more toward severe autistic children. But Garrett thrived in this environment. But they determined his special needs percentage had dropped so therefore he no longer qualified.

Then his Dad got deployed to Iraq and he started kindergarten. By the luck of the stars and God we had a wonderful and caring teacher, Mrs. Hagg! She knew what was going on but wanted to watch him. And she did and worked with him for six months but then told me it was time for more evaluations, etc. And that is what we did. It was then determined that he definitely had ADHD on top of having the PDD (pervasive developmental disorder). At this point he was put on medicine, which made a HUGE difference.

Garrett meets many of the 'classic' signs for AS. He is a 'little professor', he is quirky, he does tend to not understand that others need space, and socially he can be inept. But on the other hand he is sweet and loving and very giving. But the tradgedy is this difference brings heartache for him (and mommy). Kids are mean to him. And now with age, I've watched adults do it also. And this is adults who I've explained what is going on. And also the children who treat him bad, I've explained to their parents also.

So now, in a nutshell maybe you can understand what we are trying to deal with. I did join an AS support group this weekend. My first meet will be on 26 April and then we will have a Family night on 2 May. I'm excited because Garrett will meet people like him and Justin will meet kids who have siblings like he has.

I read this:

"Asperger's Syndrome is nothing to be ashamed of. It is not a death sentence, nor a character defect. The fact is that AS is a NEUROBIOLOGICAL DIFFERENCE".

And what I'm discovering, as Garrett's advocate, is that I MUST help other people understand this and educate them on this and hope that they can educate their children on this so maybe we can make it easier for us to live where we are.

BULLYING

BULLYING HURTS AND KEEPS ON HURTING

Bullying is an act of repeated aggressive behavior in order to intentionally hurt another person, physically or mentally. Bullying is characterized by an individual behaving in a certain way to gain power over another person (Besag, 1989). Behaviors may include name calling, verbal or written abuse, exclusion from activities, exclusion from social situations, physical abuse, or coercion (Carey, 2003; Whitted & Dupper, 2005). Bullies may behave this way to be perceived as popular or tough or to get attention. They may bully out of jealousy or be acting out because they themselves are bullied (Crothers & Levinson, 2004).

The effects of bullying can be serious and even fatal. Mona O’Moore Ph. D of the Anti-Bullying Centre, Trinity College Dublin, said, "There is a growing body of research which indicates that individuals, whether child or adult who are persistently subjected to abusive behavior are at risk of stress related illness which can sometimes lead to suicide".[6]

Victims of bullying can suffer from long term emotional and behavioral problems. Bullying can cause loneliness, depression, anxiety, lead to low self-esteem and increased susceptibility to illness.[7]

We had rough evening yesterday. Again our neighorhood has proved to be not so great. Garrett, my youngest was 'attacked' by some boys in the neighborhood that he was 'playing' with. And the worst thing is he was only there for 15 minutes! I cannot understand what is happening in this world and why things are the way the are anymore. He was punched, called a crybaby and had a chair thrown at him, which left this lovely bruise on his leg...that showed up instantly.

I immediately went down to the house he was playing and they were all on the trampoline. I had this boy who put the bruise on him get off, get his bike and go home with me. I also found out that the Mom of the house he was at wasn't home (which I didn't know) and her 13 yr old was watching her kids...AND this 13 yr old told the younger kids to 'dogpile' Garrett. I am mortified by this behavior.

I see this stuff happening in the news, but I will tell you I'm seeing it in my own backyard. When I finally got to talk to the Mom who wasn't home, she marched all of hers down, 13 yr old included. This child had such a horrid attitude! And his excuse, "we were just playing." I told him that something was seriously wrong when a 7th grader does this to a 1st grader.

And Garrett, when both of the children came to apologize (and the one has done things more than once) he has 'forgotten' because he wants to be friends so bad. His innocence and his ease of forgiveness is amazing.

My heart bleeds for my child. But I'm taking new steps because we will not be moving anytime soon because of the economy. And I will be posting more on Garrett.

But I will tell you. I pray to God. But last night I was on my knees. I was praying on my knees for my children, for my baby great-nephew and my Dad.

The Apple Tree Flourishes!

Garrett's little Apple Tree is growing, growing and growing!! Life is flourishes in this little plant that came from a seed! We are excited to see how it continues. As it gets bigger we will buy a pot and continue to let it grow!

Johnny Apple Seed

A few weeks ago, or more (I'm getting senile), Garrett came home with a couple apple seeds. He insisted we had to plant them and we were going to grow an apple tree. So I promised him we would. I got a plastic cup and punched some holes in the bottom. Then we filled it with some top soil and put the seeds down in the soil. Then Garrett watered it and we placed it on the deck in the back where it would get water and plenty of sunshine. Well, LOW AND BEHOLD, I go back there yesterday and what do I discover a plant growing, yes a little apple tree!

And look at my proud little Johnny Apple Seed who never doubted for a minute something would grow!! The innocence and trust of a child is a beautiful thing and maybe, just maybe we adults need to take que from them also!